A Sacrifice I'm Willing to Give
by FairELF
Summary: The world around him had come crashing down, now the last person left had been taken. What will he give to get her back? Death of minor characters. Involves everyone but is based on McGee. Please be kind! It's my first ever fanfic!
1. Tim

**A sacrifice I'm willing to give**

**Tim**

She's all that I can see. Her raven hair loose, mixing with the blood that was trickling down her face. I need to help her, to stop the fear and pain displayed in her eyes. Time is frozen, no-one moves. This has to stop, I have to save her. I couldn't save them, but I can save her. I take a step forward, the gun once trained on her swings round directly aimed at my chest.

"Stop! Stay where you are!"

"McGee, stop!"

"Probie!"

"Timmy!"

The only thing I hear is her voice pleading me to rescue her. I don't care what happens to me, as long as she's alright. A diversion to make _him_ focus on me, not them, not her. And I have nothing left to live for except her. They will be able to take _him_ out and ensure that the rescue happens. I take another step forward. Nothing. One more step, the gun still focused on me.

"I'm warning you, one more step and your dead!"

I don't care. Ever since the phone call this morning I had felt empty. I had told no one. They were gone and telling people about it wouldn't bring them back. And this was my job not hers. She needed protection; I am willing to give it. I would do anything for her. One more step and something hits me in the leg. No pain. It doesn't hurt. She must be ok. I have to make sure she's ok. One more step and something hits my chest, shuddering through my body. I stumble, and crash to the ground, descending into the blackness.

Around me movement, but I doesn't care. I can only think about one thing. Is she ok? Is she safe? I open my eyes and blink, and try to sit up but someone pushes my shoulders down. I tired and cold. Really tired. Really cold. Maybe I should just sleep. But I have to make sure. The sound around me came back. The screams, the sobs, the yelling. It's all in black and white, with just a few sprinklings of colour. The yellow of the mug, the green of the carpet, the blue of Gibbs eyes, the red of my blood. I blink again, and focus on the blue.

"Abby." I mouth soundlessly.

"She's safe." Came the reply. "Now I want you to stay with me. Tim. Stay with me. Don't go to sleep."

"Sorry." I say as I shut my eyes.

"No! Don't do this to us Tim. Don't do it to her. She needs you."

Running footsteps, and then complete darkness. I had done my job. I had saved her. What happened now didn't matter.


	2. Abby

**Abby**

I watch his fall and scream his name. I can't believe he just did that for me. After everything I had said. After everything I did. Was it only this morning when that had happened, when I had accused him, when I had yelled at him? I can't believe that I did that. I broke his heart and now he's broken his body for me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

_His birthday. Why do I always forget his birthday? Maybe if I pretended I had something at home, he wouldn't mind. But this is Tony were talking about. He wouldn't believe me. He would think that I was like his family, and didn't care about him. I couldn't do that. And anyway I didn't have anything at home that I could give. I looked around the lab, looking for inspiration. And I found it. True it had been from McGee but if Tony didn't show anyone, no one would know. I picked up the package and weighed it in my hands. It would do. I just hoped that Tim would understand and forgive me. _

_I quickly hide it behind me as I hear footstep walk through my lad door. I look around and see Tony. I run at him, giving him my monster squeeze hug._

"_Happy Birthday!" I say as I dance around him. Laughing at his astonished face. I kiss him on the lips._

"_Erm, Abby." He said. "What's that in your hand. Because it gonna give me a monster bruise." He says with a smile._

_Damn, I forgot about the package. Oh well. It's too late now._

"_It's your birthday present, but I haven't had time to wrap it up for you. You can have it now, only it's a secret so you can't tell anyone."_

_He holds out his hand and I pass it over. He looks inside._

"_Oh Abby. You shouldn't have. I can't believe it. I've always wanted one!" _

_I smile but remind him he can't tell anyone. He looks at me oddly, then shrugs his shoulders, nods his head in agreement and walks out._

_As soon as he left Tim steps out from behind the mass spec. Oh feck. He saw it all. He knows what I did. I look at him and startled. I expected anger, I got empty. His expressive green eyes are devoid of emotion. It hurts to think that I might have done this to him. He starts to walk away._

"_Tim..." is all I can say._

"_What?" he snarls back._

_I jump at the unexpected forcefulness of his response. I try to explain why I gave away his present, but he doesn't listen. So I yell at him. I ask him why his in the lab stalking me, listening to private conversations. I tell him that I hated his present, that I hate him, that I don't want to see him again. He walks out the door, so I tell him not to come back. As the door shuts behind him, I throw Bert across the room. He hits the wall and I sigh. I walk over and pick him up. I hug him, holding him close. I feel guilty, but I know I can't do anything now. Maybe later, after Tim's calmed down. I shake my head. This is not going to be a good day. _

_4 hours later and I still haven't seen him. They were called out to investigate a murder. They should be back soon. The lab door opens and I turn around expectantly. I fall as I am met with the butt of a revolver. A bag is placed over my head, and I'm forced to walk out of the lad and into the car park. I'm manhandled into the back of what I think is a van. After that I don't know._


	3. Tony

**Tony**

I can see in his eyes what he's about to do. I yell at him, trying to stop him, to warn him. He carries on. Gibbs' shout also fell on deaf ears. Probie ploughed on, intent on rescuing Abby. I think quickly and realise what he is doing. He's not trying to rescue Abby; he's trying to create a diversion. I look at Gibbs and he nods coming to the same conclusion. We slowly draw our spare guns, Ziva her knife. We wait, trying not to think about what might happen if this goes wrong. I can't believe McGee's doing this. The sound of gun shots. I don't think. I just aim and fire. I see Ziva throw her knife, hitting her target in the chest. I see Gibbs rush to Abby, pulling her to the floor. I rush to check on Lt. Cussler. He's dead. Unsurprising with 3 bullet wounds and a knife sticking out of your back. I turn round to celebrate but see Tim. He's laying there covered in blood, Gibbs and Ziva kneeling down, putting pressure on his wounds. I freeze, my blood running cold. This couldn't happen again. Not after Kate. I see Abby crying on the floor. I go to her trying to comfort and be comforted at the same time. I hear Gibbs talking, his voice getting louder, more worried. I forget everything as I run to the small group on the floor. I didn't see Abby collapses again, nor did I see the paramedics arrive.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

_We all noticed it, but we didn't say anything. McGee seemed empty, devoid of all emotion. He had thrown himself into the work and avoided us as much as he could. I hadn't got a word out of him, neither had Ziva. Gibbs got a few but then the case started and we didn't have time to think about our Probies mysterious behaviour._

_A dead marine down at the docks. An hour's car journey, even with Ziva driving. We meet Ducky there, and he run through the usual TOD etc. He and Jimmy packed up quickly, wanting to get back to the morgue. I glanced at McGee and startled. His face is blank, but it's not just that. His eyes are vacant, empty of all emotion. I talk to him, trying to connect with him, but he ignores me. I try to wind him up and get nothing but an upside head slap from Gibbs. So I stop. I look at him and he hadn't change. He hadn't even been afraid of Zivas driving. I say nothing; I figure that I would be able to get it out of him as we tidied up the crime scene. I didn't. McGee threw himself into the work, without being asked. Sure, __that__ was normal, what wasn't was that he didn't talk. He didn't joke. He didn't get angry or annoyed at me. He ignored Ziva and only answered to Gibbs' questions. No ramblings that we usually expect, just a blunt, straight to the truth, answer. Without his knowledge, I kept an eye on him. I didn't know what had happened to him, but I knew something was wrong. _

_McGee was the one who found the note. I saw him bend down, pick up what I assumed to be trash, and then visible froze. I called to him, but got no reply, not that I was expecting one. I walked over to him. He didn't move, just stared at the trash in his hands. I glanced at it too. My blood ran cold as I read it through. _

_NCIS,_

_YOU TOOK FROM ME WHAT WAS PRECIOUS. NOW I WILL TAKE FROM YOU. YOU TOOK MY CHILD FROM ME. SO I WILL TAKE YOURS. DO NOT TRY TO FIND HER OR YOU WILL ALL DIE._

_LT. C.C._

_I yelled for Gibbs, and slowly removed the note from Tim's grasp. O god. Here was another sicko intent on destroying our team on destroying, my family. I forgot about my worry for McGee as I handed the note over. Who could it mean?_


	4. Ziva

**Ziva**

I'm standing alone. I can see everyone from where I stand. I can't kill Cussler without the risk of hitting Abby, and that is a risk I am not willing to take. I look at the rest of the team. No one has their weapons drawn. Unsurprising really, we were told that if we didn't drop them Abby would die. The blood on her face and the gun in his hand were enough persuasion. We dropped them but didn't let on about our spares. I can feel my knife against my back, and I know that this will be my weapon of choice for when the "situation presented itself". A face draws my eye and I study it more closely. McGee. His face reminded me of home. Of the faces of countless civilians, who had lost all hope of living happily, save one farfetched idea that they believe will save them. I study his face, those expressive green eyes, and I know what his going to do. I know he doesn't care about what happens to him, so long as she survives.

"No." I whisper under my breath. This shouldn't be happening. That look didn't belong on McGee. I have never seen him give up on himself, on his life. Not even in the other hostage situations we've been through. I realise that my suspicions from earlier are true. Something is wrong with Tim.

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_Gibbs rang the director, as I studied the note and my co-workers. Tony was acting as I expected he would, scared, shocked, angry. McGee on the other hand did nothing, the only movement he made was the slow blinking of his eyes, his face empty, expressionless. Maybe he was in shock, which would be understandable, but... I couldn't distinguish what it was, but something was wrong. McGee had been absent all day leaving a robot in his place. I was going to say something when I heard Gibbs:_

"_That SOB! His got Abby! I can't believe this! I'm going to kill Vance! I warned him and he still loses her! DAMN! McGee!"_

_No response. I look at him._

"_MCGEE!!!"_

_Even I had to hide my flinch at Gibbs' tone of voice, but McGee didn't even jump. I watch Gibbs walk over to him and slap him upside the head. I flinch again, in sympathy. With the anger Gibbs put into that slap it had to hurt. But Tim showed no acknowledgement of the pain. He just slowly turned to look at Gibbs._

"_NOW THAT YOU'VE FINALLY JOINED US, PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP US FINDS ABBY! GO BACK TO BASE AND FIND HER! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, JUST DO IT!" Gibbs yelled._

_Tony was backing away from Gibbs and I didn't blame him. He was loud enough to make your eardrums bleed, and scary enough to make you pee your pants. Not that I was going to admit that to Tony. But McGee just stood there, his face blank, ignoring Gibbs and increasing the wrath. _

"_GET BACK TO BASE NOW! IF YOU DON'T FIND HER SOON SHE'LL BE DEAD AND IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!"_

_I gasped. I can't believe he said that. I watch stunned as McGee turned around and walked to a car, got in and drove off._

"_Erm...Boss..." I hear Tony mumble._

"_I know." sighed Gibbs. "Let's just finish off collecting the evidence."_

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I get my knife ready, waiting for a signal. Cussler is focussed on Tim who is walking towards him and Abby. She is crying, screaming, pleading. 2 shots. I throw my knife, as Tony also shoots and Gibbs pulls Abby to the ground. Cussler falls, but all I can see is Tim, bleeding. I hurry over to him as Tony checks the body. Gibbs quickly joins me, helping to put pressure on the wounds. He's unconscious, his blood trickling through our hands. I glance up at Gibbs meeting his eyes. Guilt, shame and fear look back at me. This is not good. If we lose Tim, we will lose our leader, our team, my family. I look back to McGee, amazed to find his eyes open, pupils dancing round the room. I signal to Gibbs that he's awake, he looks down and Tim's green eyes lock onto Gibbs' blue ones. Tim opens his mouth, and then shuts it.

"Abby." he mouths soundlessly.

"She's safe." Came Gibbs' reply. "Now I want you to stay with me. Tim. Stay with me. Don't go to sleep."

"Sorry." He says as he shuts his eyes.

"No! Don't do this to us Tim. Don't do it to her. She needs you."

I kneel there in shock, my ice queen persona slipping away from me. I hear Tony running over. Then I'm pushed roughly away as the paramedics do their job. I move towards Tony, who's frozen at the sight of his Probie. I gently take his arm and take him back to Abby, who's being checked over by another paramedic. She isn't responding to any of the questions she's being asked. Shock, I say to myself. I pull Tony down and we sit beside Abby, ignoring the paramedic that started looking over us too.

A movement catches my eye, Tim on a stretcher being transported to the ambulance. Gibbs following in his wake. Suddenly were all on our feet following them, leaving the paramedic alone, stunned and nervous. Outside Tim is being loaded onto the ambulance, Gibbs is arguing with a medic. They won't let him ride with Tim. Gibbs sees us standing there, lost. He sees Abby, blood still running down her face, covering the dry blood. He came over to us.

"You two stay here and process the scene. I'm going with Abby to the hospital. Call Ducky."

He grabs Abby, and takes her over to the waiting ambulance. I ring Ducky, Tony isn't up too it yet. I also call Vance. We need another team down here to process. We need to be there for McGee. I need to find out why Tim did what he did. Why he gave up on hope.


	5. Gibbs

**Gibbs**

Abby. I run to her, pulling her to the ground as the first shot is fired. I shield her till the shots stop. I shield her from any stray bullets. Inside my gut is clenching, with fear, with worry, with _guilt. _All I can think of is McGee. He had to be ok. After everything I had said to him he had to be ok. The bullets stop, and I check that Lt. Cussler is down before I run to Tim. Ziva is already there pressing on his wounds. I joint her, putting pressure on his chest wound. He had to pull through otherwise Cussler would have had his way. He would have torn apart my family, taken away my son. Ziva nudges me and I look down at his face. His eyes are open, his green orbs focused on me; he's trying to say something.

"Abby." He mouths soundlessly.

"She's safe." Came my reply. "Now I want you to stay with me. Tim. Stay with me. Don't go to sleep." My father instinct kicking in, trying to keep him awake, trying to keep him alive.

"Sorry." He says as he shuts his eyes.

"No! Don't do this to us Tim. Don't do it to her. She needs you." _I need you_, I think_._ I'm pushed aside as the medics turn up. I'm shaken to the core. For the first time all day there had been emotions in those clear, expressive eyes. Emotions I don't want to see there. Detachment. Acceptance. Despair. Sorrow. Exhaustion. Hopelessness. I don't understand why all those emotions were there, but I am going to find out why he gave up on us, on himself.

I travel with him to the ambulance, but the medics won't let me ride with him.

"Sir, he's too unstable. There isn't enough space. I'm sorry. But you can't come." They ignore my yelling and slam the doors as they prepare to drive off. At least I had the foresight to make sure they were coming before we entered the house. I see the team stand a little bit away from me and I walk over, anger at the paramedic suppressing my fear. Abby still has blood running down her face. Tony and Ziva are still with shock.

"You two stay here and process the scene. I'm going with Abby to the hospital. Call Ducky." I say as I grab Abby and steer her over to a waiting ambulance. I don't wait to see if they follow my orders. I trust them to carry them out.

In the ambulance I let my mind wander over the day's events.

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_As I walk into the bullpen I can see something is wrong with McGee. I can't just be from where I had yelled at him surely. Maybe it was Abby's disappearance, but no, the kid had been blank all day. I had meant to find out why, but there case had completely stripped me of this idea. I should have tried harder. I mentally head slap myself for how I had treated him earlier. That had been my father-side talking, not my boss-side. I should have controlled my feelings. I sigh and walk over to his desk. Ziva and Tony behind me, having already delivered the evidence to one of the labs downstairs._

"_What you got for me McGee?"_

_Without looking up he says in a monotone, "Lt. C.C. or Lt. Charles Cussler. Son Mike Cussler. Convicted on murder in 2007. Our case boss. He committed suicide last month."_

"_Any idea where he would have taken Abby?" I say trying to catch his eye with an unspoken apology. He stares steadfastly at his computer. Tony and Ziva stay uncharacteristically quiet. No jibes or jokes on Tim, they also know something is hinky apart from Abby's disappearance._

_He runs off the last known address of Cussler Sr. Secretly I'm impressed. He got all this with no forensics. Just two initials. CC._

"_Gear up. It's time for us to visit Lt. Cussler."_

_It's a twenty minute drive to the house. Ziva drives and it's ten. I smirk at the look on DiNozzo's face. I look at McGee and the smile fades. He is still blank. His face devoid of the usual terror Zivas driving creates. After this is over, I am going to find out what is wrong. My gut is warning me, but there's nothing I can do now._

_I send Ziva round to the back entrance; I take the side, leaving Tony and McGee at the front. I signal and 3 doors slam open._

"_NCIS! Drop you weapon."_

"_No! Stay where you are! Drop your weapons or I shot!"_

_My heart stops as I see Abby. I can see the blood running down her head. I can also see the steadfast gun pointed at it. This man's serious. I nod and lower my weapon, the team following suit. I assess the situation, trying to work out the best way of saving her. I look at the team. Tony's staring at Abby. Ziva's focussed on Tim. I look at him too. His face turns from hopelessness to determination. He takes a step forward, and I realise what he is doing._

"_McGee, stop!" I yell. He doesn't listen. I know what is going to happen..._

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At the hospital I stay with Abby long enough to know that all she needs is a couple of stitches. I then start the search for McGee.

"Agent Gibbs?" I turn round at the call.

"Yes?" I reply.

"Agent McGee has just gone into surgery. The bullet to his right thigh tore his adductor longus and adductor brevis as well as the femoral artery, which caused a huge bleed, but it shouldn't be too serious. However, the bullet to the upper left quadrant of his chest broke 2 ribs, pierced a lung, and just missed his heart and spine. His lung collapsed and bled out into his chest cavity. On arrival he had stopped breathing and had had to be incubated. His heart stopped once in the ambulance but they managed to resuscitate him. They surgery will take at least 4 hours, but he has a 50/50 chance of survival. Even if he makes it through there's only a slim chance that he will wake up. I'm sorry."

"McGee's tough. He will make it. He doesn't have permission to die!" I don't know what else to say. My mind is blank. _I can't lose him. He's part of my family. His family. I should contact them. _"Have you contacted his family yet?" I ask.

"No. We haven't been able to get in touch with them yet." she says again.

"Don't worry."I say" we'll contact them. Tell them what's happening."

She smiles a sad smile at me before she walks away. I don't even know her name. I missed the introduction. I pull out my phone and ring Sarah.

"I'm sorry this number doesn't exist. Please disconnect and redial." Odd I think as I redial. I get the same message. I try his parent's numbers. Both come back with the same message. Very odd. I ring DiNozzo.

"Boss. What's the news?"

"He's in surgery at the moment. There not sure..."

"We're on our way Boss. Ziva rang Vance, he sent over another team..."

"Can you pull into campus on your way? I can't contact any of McGee's family. And we need them here now. Get Sarah and tell her to ring her parents."

"On it Boss."

I shut the phone and wait, pacing in the waiting room that I found. After a while Abby joins me. 10 minutes later my phone rings.

"Gibbs."

"Hey Boss." Tony, his voice is quiet.

"What? Where are you?" I wonder what is wrong, my gut twisting.

"At campus Boss..."

"Well grab Sarah and get over here!!!"

"Small problem Boss..." Now I'm worried.

"Well?"

"When we got to her apartment...well, erm..." Now I'm really worried now, DiNozzo doesn't hesitate, that's McGee's job.

"DiNozzo spit it out!"

"We've found out why he's been distant all day. See Boss, their dead..." My heart stops.

"Who's dead?" My voice sound calm. I see Abby look at me startled when I say this.

"Sarah...her mom...her dad...his entire family...car crash this morning...damn, this is my worst birthday ever...no one's coming Boss...their gone already..."

"Shit!" Her gaze is still on me.

"Yeah Boss...He didn't even tell us..."

"Get here now DiNozzo. If they can't be here at least we can be..." And I hang up, and turn resisting the urge to hit the wall. Abby comes over.

"Who's dead Gibbs?"

"His family, Abs. His entire family. This morning. Car crash. Did he tell you?"

She stands there in shock."No, Gibbs. He was in my lab this morning. Damn, I should have known something was hinky..."

"It's not your fault Abs. We all knew something was wrong..." I stop as she hugs me tight. I return the hug, thankful that she wasn't it surgery too. I kiss the top of her head. "He'll be ok. He's strong. He'll pull through." I put my finger on her lips as she tries to argue. I pull her down as I sit on a chair. She sits beside me.

20 minutes later Tony and Ziva come running in. "No news." I say as they open their mouths. Their shoulders sag as they walk over. They're both angry and worried. I vacate my chair, in favour of pacing. Tony replaces me, Ziva stays standing with her back to the wall. No one speaks. And we wait.

3 hours later the doctor from earlier comes into the room. I stop pacing. Her face is blank, her eyes searching. My heart stops.

"Who's here for Agent McGee?"


	6. After the funerals

**Authors note: Hey, sorry its been so long! Thanks for the reviews guys! Hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

**After the Funerals**

Gibbs

We stood as a group by the side of their graves. We owe this much to him. I looked at the different groups around me. A small party for each of the deceased. It shouldn't have come to this. We shouldn't have lost the entire family in one day. Around us the different groups started to leave, after one last look, the team followed. They were all there except for Abby, who had refused to give up hope. I stay behind. I see the team turn, realising that I'm not there. I look at them and they nod, and walk to the first car and drive off. I stand in the graveyard and feel a calm settle over me for the first time in 3 weeks. The anger and fear dispersed into the emptiness. I still can't believe McGee didn't tell us, but I can understand what he did more than the others. I had been there and done the same thing. I understood, the others didn't. They couldn't until they had felt that lost. I understood.

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"_Who's here for Agent McGee?"_

_The team stood and gathered round the doctor._

"_Agent McGee pulled through the surgery. We managed to remove the bullets from his leg and chest. However, he crashed twice during the surgery which significantly lowers his chances of survival. The next few days will be critical, but we are unable to tell you when or even if, Agent McGee will even regain consciousness, he is currently in a grade 3 on the Glasgow coma scale, unresponsive to pain. The blood loss and oxygen deprivation may have caused permanent damage, however we will be unable to determine how much until he wakes up. I'm sorry." I feel Abby crumble next to me._

"_Can we see him?" I ask._

"_When he's out of recovery, I'll send a nurse to get you."_

"_Thank you."_

_The doctor nodded and walked off to see to other patients and their families. I turn to comfort Abby, tony and Ziva are still processing. Ducky joins us. I look at him._

"_Just finished with Cussler." I nod. "How is he?" I spout off what the doctor told me both before and after the surgery, still trying to reassure Abs. "Oh dear..." I look at him. "...Timothy's at grade 3...that's not good..." I glare at him._

"_He'll be fine. He doesn't have permission to die." I see his look at me, taking in Abby beside me._

"_I'm sure he will Gibbs. Abby he will be ok; he's stronger than you think."_

_We waited for what seemed like hours until a nurse came up to find us and take us to Tim._

_We stop outside the door, suddenly nervous. I look at Ducky and he nods. We both enter at the same time, and the team follows. I take in Tim lying on the bed, knowing that I'll have to stay strong for everyone else. Wires and tubes and bandages, machines beeping, the whoosh of the ventilator. Ducky walks to Tim's chart and studies it, Abby approaches Tim's head and sits in the vacant chair. Tony sits next to her. Ziva sits opposite Abby for once allowing a tear to fall. No one speaks, they just wait in silence._

_And it hits me. We are all McGee has left. We are now his only family, not his second. And we will wait until he is ready to come back._


	7. Waiting

**Waiting**

Abby

I sit there, reading to him, though I'm not focusing on the words. In my head my mind wanders over the last 3 weeks. Had it really been 3 weeks since Tim was hit? Since Tim had slipped into a coma? Since Tim had lost his family? It feels like a year. I've stayed with him as much as I could, but even I'm starting to give up hope. All this time and he hasn't woken up. Hasn't change coma grade. Hasn't even moved. And I'm the only one who believes in him...no. Gibbs believes that he will wake up; I can see it in his eyes, eyes that burn with fierce loyalty to the broken body on the bed, but even he has stopped visiting as much. Tony and Ziva don't come at all now. They have given up. I give Burt a squeeze. I won't give up, even after what Ducky had said.

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_I'm sitting alone with Timmy, clutching his hand, talking to him when I hear the door behind me open. I glance round and see Ducky entering with a sad frown on his face. I look at him as he walks over and sits beside me._

"_Hey, Duck-man" I say with a sigh, and a small smile._

"_Hello, Abigail my dear."_

"_He's going to make it, Duck. He's got too. Like you said he's strong. He will make it. He'll make it because I need him, because he doesn't want to die, because if he does Gibbs will kill hi..." and I laugh. I laugh that my best friend is in hospital, possibly dying. I laugh at the thought of Gibbs trying to kill an already dead McGee. I laugh hysterically until I cry. I cry for my loss, I cry because it's my fault, I cry because I know why ducky is here._

"_Abby..." I feel an arm around my shoulders. I like the warmth it gives. I calm down a bit. "...Abs..." I stop crying and look at him. "...it's been 10 days Abs...I think you need to start thinking that maybe he will never wake up..."_

_I look at him shocked. If it wasn't Ducky I would have hit him. "No Duck. He's going to make it, he is, he is, he is, he is!" I know he will wake up; he just needs us to wait for him. I refuse to look at Ducky._

_He tries again. "Abby, he has remained at grade 3 since he got here. His charts show limited brain function, not really registering pain. I think that maybe it is time to think about a long term solution for Timothy..."_

"_NO!" I shout as I launch myself to my feet. I look at Ducky with fury in my eyes. "No, I will not give up on him!"_

"_That's not what I said Abs..." he looks at me sadly as he too stands. "Just think about it, ok..." I stare him down in silence. I don't move until he sighs once more and walks away._

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I know why they don't visit anymore. They had grieved for him, at their funerals. They had said their goodbyes to the man they once knew. They tried to move on, and to do that they avoided the hospital, avoided having to see him. Gibbs still held his space on the team, but I wonder how long until Vance forces him to fill it again.

I hear the door open, and look at my watch. 11 o'clock. It was time again. Every other day, at 11, the neurologist would evaluate Tim. I stand and walk to the back of the room. I know what is going to happen. I know it off by heart...

"Hello Tim, it's me again, Dr. Freeh. Ok Tim, can you open your eyes for me?"..."Can you wiggle your toes for me Tim?"..."It's ok Tim... Tim I'm going to have to cause you some pain now..." he takes out some instruments and starts prodding Tim. I silently wish for Tim to respond because I hate the next test. Nothing. Here it comes. The sternum rub. I hold my breath. Tim groans. I run to his side, fear and excitement pumping adrenaline through my veins. He had responded. He had just changed grades.

"Come on Tim. You can do this. Come back to me, I need you. I need you, please Timmy, come back...". I'm not aware of the tears running down my face. I stroke his head, and notice his lips move. Even with the tube I can see what he is saying...

"_Abby..."_ I squeal and look at the doctor, expecting to see a smile. But he's frowning, I start to ask what is wrong, then I notice a change in the beeping around me.

"He's crashing, somebody get a cart...we need some help in here..." the doctor suddenly yells. I scream and then I'm being hustled outside as the doctors do their thing. They close the blinds.

_No,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no!_ My brain screams. I collapse on a chair, feeling my muscles shaking with shock and fear. I need Gibbs, no I don't, I need Tim, but Gibbs and a Caf-Pow will do. I calm myself down with a Caf-Pow from the nearest machine, and then I pull out my phone.

"Gibbs."

"It's Abby..." My voice is shaking. I suck on my Caf-Pow to try to steady it.

"Abby, what's wrong?!" I can hear the worry and fear in his voice. It breaks me; all control leaves me as I start to sob again.

"It's Tim Gibbs...its Tim...He responded but then...and he said...I can't...I'm sorry...Gibbs..."

"Slow down Abs. Start again." I can still hear the panic.

"He responded in pain...he groaned...he said my name...he crashed...Gibbs please come...please..." I'm starting to hyperventilate.

"Okay Abs. I'm on my way." And the phone goes dead. Deep breathes, I try to tell myself, but I find I can't. I wonder if I should phone the others, or if Gibbs will. The little control I had leaves me. Suddenly there's a paper bag being held over my nose and mouth, and I see Dr. Freeh crouching in front of me. I force myself to calm down wanting to know how Tim is.

"He's ok, Abby. He just pushed too hard, too fast. But take it as a good sign...he's trying to come back. His brain patterns suggest that he is beginning to improve. If he keeps improving at this rate, he may be awake by tomorrow."

I squeal and hug him. I want to laugh as he rocks backwards and almost falls over. I let go and we both stand. He nods at me and I walk back into his room. I go to his side, hold his hand and talk to him. I talk until I hear the door open once more and I see Gibbs. He looks, I don't know, but he almost looks _scared. _I run to him and hug him.

"Abby, what happened?" I see his glance at Tim, his confusion when he sees that his youngest agent is ok. I quickly tell him what happen. I tell him what the doctor said. I feel him relax. He kisses the top of my head and I release him. He tells me that he's going to tell the rest of the team. I figure that that means he told them. I walk back to Tim's side.


	8. Awakenings

**Awakenings**

Tim

I can see them, but I can't join them. No matter how hard I try, a glass wall appears and I run into it. Time passes but I still can't reach them. Their light is all I can see in the silent darkness. I slowly approach them, and they me. _Finally, I'm going to get through._ I can see their faces. Dad, Mom, Sarah, Kate. I want to join. I raise my hand in greeting and my fingertips brush against the glass once more. I can see their tears running down their faces, past their smiles. They raise their hands. I try to talk to them but they shake their heads. I scream in frustration, and hit the glass. It vibrates under the force. I hit it again and again, until I see it crack. The people on the other side are still shaking their heads, but make no move to stop me. Two more hits and the glass is gone. I freeze, unsure of what I want to do, of what I should do. My family approach me.

"_You shouldn't have done that." _My dad says as they stop short of me.

"_You shouldn't be here."_ Mom says as I look at her.

"_Go back. It's not your time."_ I can see the tears run down my baby sister's face as she says it. I don't want to leave her. I turn to look at Kate.

"_McGee, they need you. You can't leave them now. You have a chance to fight it, a chance I never had. Go back to them. Fight for them, for me. It may seem had now but you can do it, I know you can. Turn around. Walk away. Your mom's right, you shouldn't be here. Go. Go and fight for your life. We will be here, when it is your time. But right now it's not. So fight!"_

And suddenly the barrier's returned and I can't hear them. I watch as they turn away and their light fades. I turn around and scream into the darkness. Then I run. I run like there's no tomorrow, _which_, I think, _for me there may not be_. I run until I can't remember why I'm running. I run until I can hear sound. Then I slow. _Funny_, I think, _I'm not even out of breath_.

I wait for the noise to turn into something recognisable. A voice. I don't know who it belongs to, but I use it as my anchor. I move towards it and it gets louder. I try to make out what its saying, but I can't. I move again. Then the sound stops and I'm lost. I'm lost in the darkness. I panic. Then I hear a new voice. This voice is further away. I try to get closer to it but I don't know where it's coming from. It's muttering something to me. I try to make out the words, but once again I fail. More mutterings. Then pain. God it hurts. I try to move away from the pain but it follows me. As suddenly as it started, it stops. And then the first voice is back. There's a new emotion in it. Once again I try to move towards it, again it gets louder. And I can hear the words.

"_Come on Tim. You can do this. Come back to me, I need you. I need you, please Timmy, come back..."_

The effort it takes me to hear this wears me out and I lose the connection, but at least I know who is with me now. Only one person calls me Timmy, and that's...

"Abby..."

I manage to whisper, before I completely surrender to the darkness. I do not even hear her squeal turn to a scream.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There are more voices this time. More anchors to cling to. I don't know who else is there, but I need to see Abby. I need to know that she's ok. I don't know why, but I have to make sure. I run towards the voices once more, all fear left in the darkness. I run until I hit a barrier. _Not again_. At least I can hear their voices:

"Come on Tim, just open your eyes." _Abby..._

"Probie, we're here. We're waiting for you." ..._and_ w_as that Tony?.._

"Yes, McGee, open the entrance, ignite the light again..." _...and Ziva?.._

"Don't you mean, open the door and switch the light back on Zeevah!" _...yup, definitely Tony..._

"Whatever Tony."_ ...and Ziva..._

"McGee. You need to open your eyes, now. You've had enough time. Wake up. **Now McGee!**"

My eyes snap open involuntary, to the Boss' command. Light blinding me, screams deafening me, pain pulling me under. I close my eyes trying to gain control. There's talking and the screams stop. Pain rakes through my body. _Breathe, just breath._ And I realise I can't, there's something in my throat. I struggle, panicking. Hands hold me down.

"Don't fight it Tim. Don't panic. Just open your eyes again for me. That's it McGee your doing great..."

I open my eyes again. The light is dimmed, the screaming stopped, but the pain is still there. I struggle to sit up, to say something, but the hands are still there. I see two blue eyes and they stare into mine.

"Relax Tim. The doctors coming. Don't try to talk. Just blink ok. Blink if you understand me."

I look at him and slowly blink. Then I shut my eyes. Relax, how can I relax when I'm in so much pain. I'm barely hanging onto consciousness. I hear someone else enter the room, talking to me. It's that voice I heard before, the one that caused me pain. I don't want to open my eyes; I want to hide from him. I don't do what he wants me to do. I hear mutterings and then;

"**McGee!** Open your eyes. We know you're awake! Stop trying to hide. Do what the doctor is telling you to do!"

Once again my eyes snap open, without my control. Why can't I control that impulse? Why do I always do what Gibbs wants? I look into the blue beacons as I try to do what the doctor wants. Then a pair of unfamiliar grey eyes interrupts my view.

"Mr. McGee I'm going to ask you some questions now. Blink once for yes and twice for no. Do you understand?" I focus on the grey eyes and slowly blink once. "Do you know who you are?" I blink once. "Do you know where you are?" I let my eyes wander round the room, a hospital. I blink once. "Do you know who the people around you are?" I blink straight away. "Do you remember what happen?" I try to think, and blink twice, worried. "That's ok. Now Mr. McGee, are you is any pain?"I shut my eyes straight away and hold them shut to emphasis the point. "Ok, now you awake we'll get you some pain meds. We'll leave you incubated for the moment though; we need to get you O2 stats. up." I watch him as he adds another bag to my IV pole. "I'm giving you some morphine for the pain. I want you to try and get some sleep. Someone will be here when you wake up. Don't worry Mr. McGee; you're going to be ok."

I watch him leave the room, and then I focus on who's left with me. I see Ziva and Gibbs on either side of me. Tony's at the foot of my bed, Abby in his arms. I try to see if she's ok, but my eyelids start to droop.

"Don't worry McGee, she's fine..." says Gibbs, reading my mind, "and so will you be..."

The darkness pulls me down and I let it. I'm content.


End file.
